


Lonely Truck Rides Home

by gcspingforcir



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Asylum
Genre: M/M, Other, it hurt me writing this but i love it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-10-28 01:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17777867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gcspingforcir/pseuds/gcspingforcir
Summary: Kit gets a little too lost in his own head





	1. Bad Ride Home

Kit will never be able to truly pinpoint why the Bloodyface incident bothers him as much as it does. Maybe it’s because they thought he murdered his wife or maybe it’s because he almost believed that he did.

_~~Thinking like that is bad Kit, your therapist scolded you for it the last session.~~ _

His neck rolled as the smell of gasoline filled his senses from his day in the garage. It’s a wonder they wanted him back, maybe it’s the publicity they get or maybe Kit is just that good of a worker.

His boot covered feet kicked along the gravel as he made his way into his old truck that’s in need of repairs but Kit is too tired to do them. The engine started with an odd screeching sound as the mechanic shushed it as if he was shushing one of his children after a bad dream.

Honestly, he’s just happy his damn truck works but he’s even happier to be heading home after what feels like days of work. He never realized how exhausted this job makes him, maybe he’s getting old or maybe he’s just not used to working jobs like this again.

The soft sound of music filled the truck as the ride home felt endless. Nimble fingers thumped against the leather covered wheel as soft rambles fell from Kit’s lips as if he’s rooting himself into reality.

##  _What even is reality to someone like Kit Walker?_

You could ask him and he’d just laugh at you before shrugging and making some offhanded comment about losing his reality after Grace and Alma died. He’d probably even tell you to ask Lana given she seems to a better grip on reality than he does.

Realistically, his world has morphed into something he’ll never talk about. It’s filled itself with old voices and skin chilling melodies that sound closer the shrieking than actual music. The thought of that made his fingers cling to the wheel as he teeth ground against each other hard enough to break.

Kit’s beginning to remember why he hates driving home alone so much and why he hates being alone in general. He gets lost in his own head and forgets that he’s safe and far from anything that could ever hurt him or his kids.

Yet the thought of the aliens,  _whatever they were,_ still causes worry and panic to boil into his systems like a poisonous vice. It makes his entire body freeze as his mind frantically tries to find a way to protect his children who might not even be entirely human themselves but he’s not going to question that.

He’s not going to question how they saved Jude or how the aliens brought Grace back from dead. He’s not going to question how Alma survived for so long when he thought she was dead and he voice haunted his mind for hours on end.

Her voice still haunts him when he tries to clear his mind, her smile still makes him break down in tears when he seeks it in the picture on the wall. He misses her so much it kills him but he refuses to give up because he knows she wouldn’t want him mourning her so much he forgets how to live.

Grace even haunts him, her laugh, the way she kissed him or the way she rolled her eyes when he did something stupid. Sometimes he finds himself wishing she would scold him for boiling the water too long or for not folding the laundry the correct way.

He wishes they were safe at home with the kids sound asleep and protected from the world.

He wishes they never left him because now he doesn’t know what the fuck to do with himself when he finds his mind wandering so far he forgets how he got home or how long he’s been parked in the driveway.

There will be no more lonely truck rides for Kit Walker, not if he can help it.


	2. Unfiltered Love

It’s been a week since the truck ride that made Kit Walker’s skin crawl so much he was sure it would fall off his bones. A week since he forgot what it was like to not hear the loving voices of his late wives calling him or his children. A week since he forgot what it was like to not feel a ghost of their fingers running through his hair or along his paling skin.

##  _A week since he felt even remotely normal since starting therapy._

He’ll never admit to himself, or anyone for that matter, that something is seriously wrong with his mental state. However, his silent cues were enough for Jimmy to know something was wrong with the mechanic he lost his heart to in a local diner.

The performer can’t shake the spine chilling feeling that something is wrong with Kit Walker and now he’s determined to take all his pain away forever. At first, it started off in the simple things he could manage and little, purposeful, mistakes just to hear the giggle he adores so much. Soon it turned into grander gestures that left Kit both suspicious and enamored all in one go.

It’s barely noon as Jimmy runs around getting himself ready for the date he’s, somehow, planned. He might’ve had a little help from his fellow freaks but,  _shhhh_ , it’s a secret!

“I wasn’t sure if this was’a casual date or not.” Kit’s voice broke the silence causing Jimmy to nearly jump out of his skin. He only got the laugh he loves so much in response before a few muffled sorry’s filled the air mixing with more bubbly giggles.

“It’s anythin’ you want it to be, doll.” he winked, as he often does, as the mechanic could only twist shyly as he muffled for the other to ‘ _shut up!_ ’ and to ‘ _stop looking at him like that!_ ’ bold of him to assume Jimmy Darling is going to stop flustering him. This is going to be the one day the Freak Show performer puts all his insecurities aside in order to focus on the man he’s hellbent on making truly happy again.

His, lobster-like, hand took a hold of Kit’s normal one before tugging the confused man out of the trailer. He thought of putting them on his motorcycle but he knows Kit secretly hates riding her so he’s opting for driving the mechanic’s truck. Can Jimmy drive, he can drive well enough but we won’t go into too many details about that.

It’s warm out meaning his plan can start going into full swing as he pulls up to a lake a few miles from the tent and the world in general. He smiled at the look he got before hopping out and tugging his shy lover out after him.

He made sure to set the truck bed up comfortably before settling down with Kit and just smiling again.

“I feel like you have some weird shit planned, Jimmy.” he doesn’t really but he’d like to have a reason for why Jimmy has been entirely too sweet to him the last several days.

“I have somethin’ planned, sugar, but nothin’ weird or bad, doll.” Jimmy’s being honest despite the laugh in his tone from how confused but intrigued the mechanic seems to be at this entire situation.

Their date simply went on like that with them talking aimlessly to each other and savoring each other’s company, something Kit didn’t know he needed. Their bodies moved closer until they were laying down in each other’s arms sharing soft looks and calming touches.

“My only plan was to make you happy again.” there he goes, being honest and mushy again as Kit laughs a faint apology. He knows he’s been acting off for the last few days and Jimmy doesn’t deserve that, at least in his eyes he doesn’t.

“Grace ‘n Alama have been on my mind again, my therapist said that’s a good ‘n bad thing. I think it’s worse than it is good but I’d like to pretend that it’s good and means something different than self-torment.” he sounds so calm talking about this as he simply nestles closer as if silently asking to not talk about it just yet.

Jimmy knows those cues, he’s memorized them just in case they ever became important again.

He only hums gently with a murmured apology of his own as a kiss presses itself into Kit’s freshly washed hair. Neither of them feels any more tension or distance between them as they lay quietly in the bed of Kit’s truck and inevitably fall asleep.

Jimmy’s just glad that he’s slowly getting his Kitten back for the first time in what feels like years even though it’s only been a week.

**Author's Note:**

> I run a [blog](https://gcspingforcir.tumblr.com/) by this same username where this fic was originally posted! Please feel free to pop on there and request anything from me! I really hope you enjoy this!


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